When I lost the presidential election for student council in the fifth grade, it hit me. It had never even occurred to me to lie to the entire student body to win. Mike promised a snow cone machine and even my cousin fell for it. Looking back I remember the shock and denial and all the other stages of grief that I went through at the tender age of nine. My opponent had lied and worked the system. This same scenario has been my traveling companion from that day onward. The experience was particularly sad because Mike was my boyfriend. "Only a friend can betray a friend, a stranger has nothing to gain."
We expect the outside world to hurt us, but those in our inner circles can cause great damage by betraying a trust. To hear the voice of ridicule or feel the wrath of ambition from a stranger is off-putting, surprising or the more benign attempts even funny. To hear it from a beloved friend is devastating and its presence corrodes our well-being. What if they are right? What if I...(fill in the blanks)? If the ridicule comes anywhere near family of origin horrors, darkness can settle in for days.
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